Have you ever felt like the time is slipping through your fingers? And the feeling is it getting stronger the older you get? I for sure feel like that. I feel like the days are passing one by one, weeks and months are flying and I am actually not moving at all. I am achieving barely anything. Do you know that feeling? Is it just a feeling or is it the reality?
Where does time go?
I am definitely feeling like this and I wonder if there is anything I can do about that.
When I was little, time was slow. I remember the summer holidays taking forever! Days were long and I managed to cram in so much stuff it is unbelievable… or at least it felt like that. I was constantly busy. But hang on, I am still always busy. At work, at home… in general. I hear myself saying: “if I only had some more time”, or “ I don’t have enough hours in a day”. I am sure I am not the only one who says that or feels like that. So where does the time go?
A typical day
I started thinking about it and analysing my days to discover where my time disappears. So here we go, my typical day:
Morning – get up before 6am. I need at least 1hour to get ready. I am not a morning person, so it takes me a while to wake up. One hour is the minimum I need before I start working at 7am.
From 7am till noon, I am in front of my computer. Noting unusual in today’s reality, I think we all are in front of the screen most of our days – at least those who work from home recently.
If I am lucky, I have a 30 min break for lunch around noontime, though the timing of that is somewhat “flexible” as often my lunch starts at 2pm. But let’s say noon is the time I have a break from work.
During my break I try to sneak in at least 15 min of some mindless TV allowing my mind to switch off from work stuff. In the same break, I normally call my husband for a quick mid-day check-in, clear the kitchen, put the washing on and water the plants. It makes for a fairly packed 30 min.
In the afternoon and till 5 or 6pm I am back at the computer. Working, having meetings, answering emails, putting out fires. Generally around 6pm my calls are all done. After that, I spend around an hour catching up on all the things I didn’t manage to do within the regular working hours, which takes me often to 7pm or even later.
In summary, 12 hours (more or less) spent on work.
This is the point where the “life” from the so-called “work life balance” is supposed to happen. My evening starts. That means dinner preparation or takeaway dependant on mood and how hard the workday was. Chat with husband, which quite often is about work and telling him what happen… one could say, still working. But I do like to run things past my husband. He is my trusted sounding board, and talking things through with him helps me gain perspective. So in my view a valuable time, no matter what we are discussing.
From 8pm onwards is the relaxing time, which in our case is probably the time where I “waste” time. I spend most of my evening in front of the TV or a different, smaller screen. I watch some mindless programmes and shows, play games or surf social. Hardly ever any value-added but relaxing… or at least I think so.
Occasionally I join the dog walk at this time as well, but it is really occasionally. So here we go … my typical day.
I have to admit my weekends are wasteful. I sleep much longer and linger in bed often till noon. I read a little, watch TV, check social, etc. If I decide to have a “lazy day”, I will spend majority of it in from of the TV. And I always say to myself that after 4-5 days of 12 hours of work, I deserve it. Of course, this is not every weekend, but it does happen.
Just for the record, this is how my typical days and weekend s look in the lockdown. In the past, I was travelling the world on a very regular basis and weekends were full adventures. So maybe this is just a temporary state of play in the pandemic reality… I hope so!
I will make time
Recently I took some time off. I had few days to use as I wish. As we are still in lockdown and it was impossible to go anywhere, it was so-called “holiday’s in the kitchen” or “staycation”. So I had grand plans to do a lot. I was going to catch up on things I had no time for during the normal working week. I would read – I even had three books ready to go. I was going to get the house under control, cleared and spring cleaned. I was going to do it all… and then…
Well, I spent most of the time catching up on sleep and lazying around. TV and games were hot from the overuse. I finished a few series … one achievement. And that’s it! For the rest, I achieved nothing, and I ended up having mixed feelings after it all.
On the one hand, I felt that I bloody deserve a break like that. That I work hard, and I need my body and mind to relax. But on the other hand, I felt like I wasted a few days of my life on nothing. Because I didn’t feel particularly rested or relaxed, I didn’t feel like I recharge my batteries, and it was all worth it. No, I felt a bit deflated if truth be known. So no gain on that side either.
Have I found the lost time?
Looking at this, I feel I am very inefficient with my time. I can’t even imagine how people manage children, second jobs, caring for elders or other things that many need to address. I have no idea how I would cope if I had to.
So, where it comes to my own time management, here are my findings
- I need to manage my work time a bit better and try to contain work task within the work time. Fair enough, but not easy to achieve. The “time management” books tell me to carve out time in a day dedicated to emails, meetings, admin, etc. I can try, but so far, I didn’t manage with a team spanning from Australia to South America it can be hard to manage timezones and meeting hours. But OK, I should try
- I need to start doing something fulfilling that gives me a sense of achievement. Clearly, wasting time in front of the TV doesn’t deliver on this front. Evenings would be best to dedicate to this, but I have to say after 12 hours workday, I don’t have that much energy or drive for anything else.
- Stop making excuses… and make plans to which I stick. Make a plan for the weekend with a list of things to do and achieving it. I have to say it sounds an awful lot like work, but maybe it will help…
- And maybe stop judging myself so much. If I take a day off to be lazy, then accept it as such and count it as an achievement. I planned to be lazy, and I was 🙂